The Bane of my Existence

I just passed the 8-month mark with my new art career.  I absolutely love how this year has gone so far - all of the art opportunities, the flexible schedule, saving tons of money by staying at home - it's ALL great.  But there is one smallish problem that has plagued me since January.

Suburbia.

I'm relatively new (again) to suburbia - I've only been back in it for the last five years.  Before that I always lived in houses right in the city (both in Green Bay and Fond du Lac).  I'm not saying that living in town is akin to the "concrete jungle", but where I am right now is total suburban land.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE the house that Brian and I share and the thought of moving makes me sick to my stomach.  But sometimes, I'd like to wring my neighbors' necks.

Within the 5-house radius of my house, both in the front and back yards, it seems that everyone owns a leaf blower, riding lawn mower, weed whacker and other extremely noisy lawn implements.  I am constantly surrounded by that awful din of motorized equipment.  One of my neighbors stands out in her driveway with the leaf blower just waiting for leaves to fall - I witnessed this while on my walk today.

Let's break this down - first of all, do these people seriously have nothing better to do than to wait for leaves to fall so they can blow them out of their driveways?  I've got an idea - how about you just wait under the tree with your hands cupped - it's far quieter and more environmentally sound.

Secondly, how lazy do you have to be to use gas-powered equipment instead of a good old-fashioned rake?  I find it interesting that those folks who could stand to lose a couple of pounds are the ones who rely on leaf blowers and riding lawn mowers in the first place.

And really - for your suburban patch of grass you call a lawn, do you REALLY need a riding lawn mower?  REALLY?  Because there are patches of grass that your behemoth can't get to, so you have to dig out your electric, NOISY weed-whacker to clean up the job.  How much sense does this make?!?

Now, Brian mows the lawn with a regular gas-powered mower, so I can't claim we're Mr. & Mrs. Al Gore either.  But our lawn gets cut about once every 7-10 days, like normal people.  We both could find a hundred other things to do besides annoy our neighbors with our noise-polluting equipment.  And speaking of noise pollution - one of the offfending neighbors likes to blare the radio whilst he's out leaf blowing - it has to be loud so he can hear it above the roar of his mighty manhood extension, doesn't it?!

Oh, and do we really have to be out using our expensive toys at 7:30 in the morning on a SATURDAY?!?  Find a new hobby, people!!!

Well anyway, thank you for letting me vent.  I know that you out there would NEVER be so inconsiderate to your fellow neighbors, right?  I didn't think so. :D

The Sedentary Life

Does it feel lately like your days just fly by, and you wonder what happened to the time?  Do you ever have days like that, where you look up from your work and it's already 2 p.m.?  Well, I have the perfect solution for that.

It's called a treadmill.

Every time I complain about how fast time goes, I should jump on this thing.  The time usually crawls when I'm walking on it but yesterday, about 11 1/2 minutes into my 30-minute walk, my iPod went dead.  I'm ashamed to say that I almost quit my walk because I didn't know what I was going to do with myself for 18 1/2 minutes!  I stuck it out and got through by making mental lists of all the things I wanted to accomplish in the day, but it did take some effort.

And why is that?  I've heard various people say that the human body wants to be in motion - if you look at babies their little legs are constantly moving.  We weren't meant to be a sedentary species.  We're bipedal because we were meant to walk further distances at a slower pace, as opposed to (some) quadropeds who can move very quickly for short distances.  Oh, and opposable thumbs help too. 

I can't speak for all of you, but I am very happy with leading a very "relaxed pace" lifestyle.  I'm really quite good at it, too.  Reading, making art, writing this blog, watching my favorite shows - that's the pace I'm comfortable with.  I wish I could call myself a person who leads an "active" life, but for the last 41 years or so it hasn't been that way. 

Oh sure, as a kid I ran and jumped and played just like all the other kids, but right around the age of ten or so I just realized that I would rather stay inside and watch game shows and "Days of our Lives".  Thirty-one years later I've stopped watching daytime TV, but you might catch me napping around mid-day.  Lunch is exhausting!  :)

To all my friends and family who run, play tennis, swim, golf, bike, ski, etc. - good for you!  When you're old, you'll be those people living in the retirement communities in Boca Raton for "active seniors".   I'll be across the hall, watching a cryogenically unfrozen 150 year-old Bob Barker hosting "The Price is Right".

Feelin' Lazy....

Today I did nothing.

Okay, that's only partially true.  I did do all of the week's laundry, wrapped all of the presents and made coffee this morning.  But other than that, not a heck of a lot.  Oh, I did do one other thing - I actually stared into space.

Yes, I found myself, in between wrapping presents, staring into the great wide open.  I can't tell you how long this mind trip lasted, but it's been a while since I've allowed myself such a luxury.

Why is that, exactly?  I felt SO lazy today, and I chastised myself for it.  I usually feel guilty when I "waste my day".  Isn't that sort of ridiculous?  It's my day off today - nearly everything is done for Christmas, and I don't have any "work" work to do.  I mentioned that I did the laundry and wrapped the presents, and yet I still feel like a bump on a log.

Maybe I feel guilty because when I think about how much work had to be done to run a household even just 50 years ago, my chores look awfully weak.  Oh, I did laundry?  Well, la-di-da!  It must've been so HARD to take those unwrinkled, warm, dry clothes out of the dryer and fold or hang them in ample drawers and closets!  Oh, I made coffee, did I?  Yes, it was sheer torture to use my Krups coffeemaker (free with Gevalia membership!) and wait the excrutiatingly endless eight minutes for freshly ground beans to become a delicious beverage!  Oh, and wrapping those presents - however did I survive using beautiful commercially printed wrapping paper in myriad colors with matching bows!  What an agonizing, long and sufferable life I lead!

Now, let's compare that to how my Grammie did things:

Laundry?  How about taking your washed clothes (she did have a washing machine) and running them through a wringer to remove the excess water, hanging them to dry, and then ironing (what's that?) every shirt, dress, pair of pants and undershirt in the house.  YIKES.

Coffee?  Egads.  She probably used a percolator, and it was probably a stove-top model in her early married life.  Percolating is much easier than simply boiling the coffee, but it didn't taste as good as our coffee and no one had an electric grinder.

Gift-wrapping - well, that's pretty much the same, but nowadays you have specific tape for wrapping presents, and it won't turn yellow as it ages.  There are also so many more scissors choices - I'm sure in my Grammie's day she probably used sewing shears!  I don't think those cheap bows existed, either and if they did, chances are they didn't have the adhesive on the back.

Even this blog would've been a huge chore back then - I would've had to write it all out in longhand or type it on a typewriter!  And who would I have sent it to?  That would've been expensive and time-consuming, sending it out to 10 or 20 people every week (even with carbons, I would've only been able to do 3 or fewer copies at a time)!

Now do you see why I feel so lazy?  I guess that's why Sundays were invented.  :)

Have a WONDERFUL holiday week, everyone!  I wish peace and good will to each and every one of you and yours.
Cheers,
Mel