July 29, 2010
Are Women Mean?
Apparently a blogger was saying just that (the actual title of the blog post asked the question, "Why are women such bitches to each other?"). A lot of the post deals with these problems in the workplace, but it does touch on other factors as well.
Since I'm the one writing this post, I'm going to give my opinion on whether or not women are mean to each other: the way I see it, it's a resounding YES.
Before you think that I don't have any female friends, that's not true. I have cultivated many wonderful friendships over the past 25 years - but I will say, it's been hard trying to find good women friends. The ones I do have (and I count my online friends in this mix too) are amazing ladies who have enriched my life in myriad ways, and I cherish them!
Oh, but we all know the women to whom I am referring, don't we? Guys, I'm sure you could think of a few yourselves (I'm not woman-bashing here, either; there are plenty of guys out there that could use a swift kick in the fun zone. But I never really deal with those types of guys).
It has been my experience that men are easier to talk to, joke with, and be around. I have always been the "pal" in any group of guys - I feel very lucky that guys were always comfortable around me, probably because I can be just as raunchy as they are and I'm not a 6'1" and 125 lbs. supermodel (FAR FROM!). I have never had to deal with hurt feelings with men, or wondered if they harbored any resentment toward me for some reason. It is very unfortunate that I have, my entire life, had to deal with these issues with many women.
Starting in the second grade, with Karl Buchmann, I have enjoyed the company of men more than women. Why? Because boys (and the men with whom I am friends) are hilarious. My guy friends don't turn on a dime, emotionally, like many women do (and because I'm a woman, I'm guilty of it too). My guys never pulled a "what's that supposed to mean?", or answered, "Oh, nothing." when asked if everything's okay.
Keep in mind that I pull all of these things myself, so I feel I'm able to vent about why I don't hang around with women of this ilk. I don't know - maybe I wouldn't hang around myself! :D
I've always tried to present myself in the friendliest manner possible - I don't mean that "everything is SUPER!"-type friendliness, reserved for perky hostess types. I'm talking about a "Happy to know ya!" sort of demeanor. And this really is who I am, most of the time. These days, I don't get snickered at or blatantly picked on, but it was probably my happy attitude that got me in hot water with the "mean girls" at my school. Oh, they loved picking on me - I was such an easy target! They'd ask me things like, "Where'd you get your clothes, Goodwill?" or "Your teeth make you look like Dracula - we'll call you Count Jonesy!" (Jones was my last name at the time). I would get tripped in the hall, called names, you name it. And I always gave them what they wanted - they made me cry, EVERY time. I mean seriously - is there anything more horrible in this world than a 16 year-old girl?! Not in my mind.
It may be a little clearer now why yes, I do believe that women are mean. They're mean in a social way that men just aren't. You will just never see a group of (straight) guys gossiping in a corner about some other guy, unless that other guy is doing something so outrageous it can't be ignored. If a guy in a group complains about a third guy in the group, especially if that third guy isn't there, he will be placated by the other guys in the group and the subject will be dropped. There is no talk of hard feelings in a group of guys, nor is there a shunning of one guy out of many. In a social setting, most guys are pretty inclusive; if introduced to a third party, they'll ususally include that guy in conversation right away. They may not become friends, but the evening will probably be a nice experience for the "new" guy.
Ladies, how many times has the exact opposite been true when you've been out with your girlfriends? I'm going to say PLENTY. At least, it has been my experience. Well, I just don't play that game. If that means that for the rest of my life I only get to keep the women friends I have currently, that's more than enough for me. I found the best, anyway! :D
I'm going to put it out there - let's start a "No Mean Women" group! If we see women behaving like Third Grade brats, let's call them on it! It's the only way this type of ridiculous behavior is going to stop. Who's with me?
P.S. As I was looking for clip art in Publisher tonight, I typed the keyword "mean". The picture you see above came up - but, surprise surprise - there were no photos of little boys in the same situation. Interesting, no?